Top 10 Rules for Working in a Shared Office

1. When you’re on the phone, do not scream or gesture. Despite popular belief, it does not make your argument more convincing.

2. Instead of leaving post-it notes or sending slack messages to your coworker that sits next to you, try turning your head to talk to them in person.

3. Some things are best kept to yourself. Excessive chit-chat can lead to you telling your entire life story to coworkers who don’t necessarily care.

4. If you’re listening to music on your headphones, keep the volume down, or make sure it’s good music.

5. If you bring food into the office, take something no one else enjoys, like SPAM sandwiches. Then no one will steal your food!

6. Don’t come into work when you’re sick, unless you want the entire office to blame you for their cough or sneeze for the next month.

7. Only organize meetings when you can’t discuss it over email because pointless meetings will lead to hours of complaints.

8. Every day, come into the office a little earlier than your fellow coworkers, so you can show them who the boss’s favorite is.

9. You will never be too busy to clean after yourself in the office kitchen.

10. Lastly, you will carry the office on your back if you always offer to make coffee for everyone else. For extra gratitude, bring in donuts.